Last night I was in my FTCM class in the heights area (All Saints) and we were discussing prayer and spirituality, two of my all-time favorite things. It's so amazing to think about how I got to where I am. This capacity that I have to love and pursue God and the depths of my heart, was that programmed into me? There's no doubt I've had to work a lot to get here, but the joy outweighs the labor. John 16:21
So I was multitasking as usual during class, and doing my "morning prayer" at 7 PM. :) And I was reading over Psalm 139, one of my favorites. It's funny how sometimes we can feel like we're running in circles, covering the same material over and over again. But new eyes are grace, and I was moved by a particular verse that'd never phased me before. "O search me, God and know my heart. O test me and know my thoughts. See that I follow not the wrong path, and lead me in the path of life eternal." It's so intimate. It's so trusting. And these words can't just be words. It's a relief to me to know that the darkest corners of my heart are well-lit and clear to Him, and that my worst fears are completely in His hands. So why do we worry? Why do we run?
I was talking with some people in my group about the human nature, and how - no matter how many times God carries us through - we still doubt. I look up to any child for their faith. They're my model. They're so brave. So nobel in their faith. "Know me." What more do we need? :)
Speaking of needs being met, I had a super weekend this past weekend. I had worked nearly two weeks straight with no day off. And I was beginning to tunnel-vision to the weekend, and I kept thinking "surely something must go wrong before I get to the weekend. Because I want it so badly." But alas, God really delivered. Friday was a day for Spiritual Direction, apartment-decorating, dinner-making and people-hosting. I got some solid time with Jenn which I loved, and I got to spend time with Shelly and her new beau Tony! (I call him Tony Tony Tone, of course.) Saturday was a toast to Fall for sure. We spent the day at Dewberry Farms, and I told Jeannie last night that I hadn't been so happy since I was a little girl. All my favorite things with my favorite people. Thanks to Jule for the tip. :) A few of the things we did:
-Picked our own bouquets
-Fed the goats!
-Got our faces painted
-Walked through a corn maze, and failed to find our way out to the other side.
-"Mined" for gemstones :)
Saturday night I welcomed the whole Motekaitis clan into my loving apartment, and soaked up the feeling. It makes me sad that I wasn't able to visit Sarah in Gainesville last month, because there really is such a large part of my heart that not only desires my sisters, but their families. Feels like a home that I miss all the time. After little Milo went to bed, Julie, Bronius, Dominic and I sat in my spookily-lit living room and watched Disney's Halloween Treats while enjoying our own treat - a delicious dessert that a mystery woman made for Jenn. She very sneakily left it at my place to be devoured within hours. :)
After doing some healthy exploring at the Houston Museum of Natural Science with the Motes Sunday morning, I made my way to the church's FunFest, and I spent the day working a booth with my kids. The incessant rain made a muddy mess, which didn't deter anyone's fun. Bronius, Milo and Dominic made it out for a bit to romp around and enjoy some of the fun. A camel ride was the crowned jewel of the day for Dominic, and for me. :)
All-in-all, it was a fantastic weekend of plugging back into the people God's blessed me with. I find myself complaining so much when I get into the micromanaging of my life. But if I just take a moment to step back and look at how much I've been blessed with, I'm just humbled. I've never done anything to deserve such a charmed life, but God's given it to me anyway. Story of my life. :)
Be well.
Lesley
